He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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