you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
