Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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