it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
