if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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