the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
