actually, I'm a sock model
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
