super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
