addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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