what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
