just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
