just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
