I want to make a zoo with you.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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