If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
