if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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