party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I've blown a few things in my day
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize