shes about as inviting as chlamydia
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
