Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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