i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
