problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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