I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
