Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
