Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
