i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
