WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
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She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
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There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
and you fell through a lawn chair
Text me some of your sweat
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize