He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
