It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
