think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
