she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
ttyl tear gas
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
