There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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