I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
