i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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