I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
