I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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