I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
