Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
