I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
