her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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