I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
