After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
well you can't waste a boner
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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