OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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