well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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