Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
