party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
