I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
