She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
