i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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