I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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