Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
