hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Randomize
