it's too hot outside to masturbate.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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