Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
