I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
