Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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