Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
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you dipped you banana in queso last night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
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Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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