Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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