If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
