I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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