He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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