i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
