I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
