sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
