I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
